


When the Heart Lies

by WinglessCrows



Series: Through the Eyes of a Cook [11]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Friendship, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9180871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinglessCrows/pseuds/WinglessCrows
Summary: "The grey before him is slowly making him go insane, but he can't close his eyes. No, that's even more dangerous. Closing his eyes would allow his mind to wander off to places he'd rather be."





	

**Author's Note:**

> The angsty version of Where the Heart Lies

He stares straight ahead.

He keeps his gaze focused on the seat in front of him, never letting his eyes turn to the people beside him or the people in front of him. If he did, he'd just feel even more trapped. The grey before him is slowly making him go insane, but he can't close his eyes. No, that's even more dangerous. Closing his eyes would allow his mind to wander off to places he'd rather be. He can't allow that. He'll just keep his eyes focused on the monotone void before him.

The ride is quite smooth at first, but the closer they get to their destination, the more unstable it gets. It's not really unpleasant, but he can feel each knick in the road. Each hole and stone they pass, and sometimes it gets hard to keep looking straight ahead. He feels more and more tempted to close his eyes.

His clothes are suffocating him and he tries hard to keep his breathing steady. The clothes cling to him in the most unnatural way and he wants nothing more than to adjust or shred it completely. The shoes are chaffing, the trousers restricting, the shirt burning and ice cold at the same time, and the cloak pinned to his shoulder is like a chain around his neck. Yet none of that can compare to the shackles on his wrists. They are biting his skin, and though he knows it's not true, they seem to get tighter as time goes by. If he starts focusing on them he can practically hear them go off, and they start burning, start eating away at his sanity. He ignores it by staring at the grey surface in front of him.

The air is filled with confusing scents. There is the smell of perfume lingering in the carriage, but the gunpowder seems to almost dominate and erase it completely. And then there is that sickening sweet scent, giving the illusion that everything is rainbows and sunshine, and it makes him sick to the core. He suspects that if the smell gets any more intense he might just throw up.

The only thing he is thankful for is the silence. Whether it's because there are no sounds or because he blocks them out, he would never know, but it's nice. He doesn't want to hear their voices. He would take nails on a chalkboard any day over their voices. Every word they utter is poison and there is a limit to how much he can take before he can no longer fight. Despite how useless and weak he feels, he still wants to fight. But he can't. He knows that. For every ounce of freedom he gains, someone else loses theirs.

And then the silence is broken.

Someone shouts and the voice is so loud and panicked that even he cannot ignore it. For a brief moment he averts his eyes and sees what he both longs for and hoped he'd never see. And the smile is bright, the voice loud, the eyes shine like the sun itself, and the strawhat has never before had him this close to tears. He wants to reach out to him, but he doesn't. He talks to him, but the words are lost somewhere between them as he realizes what he must do.

And his heart aches. He wants to go back, he wants to take his hand and hear him say that everything is okay. Tell him that he's safe and home and no one will ever be able to harm him again. But he can't. He buries his heart beneath everything. Beneath his insecurities and fears. Beneath his lies and regrets. Beneath his pain and tears. And he watches as that bright smile disappears and is replaced by disbelief. He gets closer, and the disbelief turns to anger. Whether or not that anger is directed towards him he can't figure out, but he hopes it is. He deserves it.

He stands before him, and knowing that no one else can see him, he hopes his plead gets across. In that moment it is just the two of them, and he tries his hardest to keep the tears from falling and his expression from softening as Sanji silently screams.

Please save me.


End file.
